Summer Is Here!!

So, it’s  been a long time since my last blog posting and lots has happened.  School is now out for the summer and kids have a two month almost break from the daily torture they endured in school.  Of course, there’s beaches to hit, amusement parks to attend and summer gatherings all around.  It’s not just the time of year for fun and games though.  Countless students are recovering from a rough school year and preparing for what lies ahead. 

            So many people complain about today’s social media.  How can we stop bullying when it’s all today’s youth ever see?  Even in kids shows, there are incidents of violence that go without any kind of discipline and as the audience gets older, sometimes it’s even rewarded.  How can parents and adults of the community possibly compete with hit TV shows and actors/actresses that serve as role models doing the total opposite of what we try to instil in youth?  What exactly can we do about it?  It’s simple, folks.  All those top Hollywood writers need to do is include active bystander roles into their scripts.  Want a scene where a kid is being picked on?  Have someone else come in and effectively stop what’s going on, or remove the victim from the situation.  Popular children’s books can also focus on the need to handle such situations. 

            The most common, popular debate around bullying is that it teaches children how to deal with conflict.  Here’s the thing – conflict and bullying are two totally different things.  So, how do we teach our youth on the difference between conflict and bullying and how to handle and resolve both?

            A conflict is a disagreement where there is no intentional harm.  “The sky is blue”, “no, the sky is clear, the colour blue is simply the sun reflecting colours off of dust particles”.  That’s conflict.  Calling people names, such as “no, you idiot, the sky is not blue I can’t believe you’re so stupid” is bullying.  Bullying is a power thing.  The person is either bullying you because they have more power than you or they want to strip you of your power and gain some for themselves.  This can be done with actions, or words and is always, always intended to cause harm. 

Never Trust Your Ex's

first things first - never open a link sent by your ex.  almost 5 hours on the phone with the company who I got my laptop from and it's still not fixed.  I miss my laptop! 
So, that explains why I haven't blogged lately.  that and the 30 hours of work spread over 3 days. 
In a couple of days, it's off to Toronto again.  This time to attend the second reading of a Bill, the biggest, most inportant one in about 40 years.  This bill would make the Ombudsman responsible for dealing with school boards as well.
However, there's one problem that I have been dealing with in which I need to vent.
I was contacted not that long ago by a woman who was working for her neighbours, who were mennonite.  Their 11 year old son had been bullied a lot and a little over a year ago was pushed to the ground.  The school had failed him in many ways.  He blacked out and came to in the principals office.  No ambulance was called.  He threw up many times that day and was sent home on the bus with the rest of the kids.  His parents were the ones who took him to emerge.  His parents were the ones driving an hour one way and back everyday when he was transferred to London hospital with head injuries.  For a week, they watched their youngest child in the hospital because of a brain anurism (spelling is bad, I know), not knowing if their son would live or die.  I worked with this family because this incident happened on school property.  not only that, but the school also knew this boy was being bullied and not only did nothing but also didn't tell his parents about it.  Now we are faced with a problem - the school board is refusing responsibility.  A letter was sent to the school boards insurance company to which they replied that they were not liable, that sometimes bad things just happened. 
I'm sorry but if that were  my kid, I'd be fighting non stop.  In fact, I did fight.  However, I cannot fight anymore because I do not have permission to act further.  I offered to contact a lawyer for them, one who would work for free but they do not want to act any further.  This boy has an increased risk of epilepsy and has to see a neurologist every year for the rest of his life.  This is his religion - don't fight.  I have no problem respecting that.  What angers me is the fact that the school board is able to get away with this.  That they can say "not liable" and get to continue on while this little boy is left different for the rest of his life.  While his parents lost income going to the hospital every day for a week wondering if their son would life.  They were out money for medical costs that were not convered because their school failed them and the school gets to get away with it.  thats my rant. 

Hi, I'm the Bully Girl

Hi fellow bloggers,
Let me first say that I may not be the best blogger out there, and updating blogs is a challenge for me as I'm always busy.  As my profile says, I'm one of two Founders of BullyingCanada.  I chose to call my blog TheBullyGirl because when people see me on the street and forget my name, that's what I get "hey! You're the bully girl!"  Well, I'm not the 'bully' girl. I'm the anti-bullying girl.
I'll share my story more in the blogs to come but I was bullied very badly growing up in the small town that I grew up in.  Don't think it was as bad as I'm making it out to be?  Well, we'll see when I share more stories.  Basically, I had people threaten and try to kill me and to tell the truth at one point, I was also ready to kill myself.
Bullying isn't a normal part of growing up.  It's a dark alley at night when you're disoriented and can't find a way out.  It's the worst feeling you've ever felt and the emptiest you will ever feel.  School becomes jail and the dirt on the bottom of your shoe becomes far more valuable than you.  The people you thought were your friends turn on you and hurt you in the worst way possible and you learn at a very young age to trust no one.
People hear bullying and don't think much.  People hear elder, spousal and child abuse and think about how awful it is.  Ever stop to think that those abusers were likely bullies in school?  Maybe that's some food for thought that will lighten your view, so you can clearly see how serious bullying is and what it becomes when nothing gets done about it. 
TBG